For those who don't know much about syphilis, here's some info from the CDC.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm
I'm all about a public service announcement. The more you know...
Like I said, I was up early to shower and get ready for my appointment. Then I get a text from Tyler wondering "what's up?" I told him I was getting ready. And then he says, "I thought we were going together." Oh, to be twenty five! Yes, I told him I would take him because I felt so bad. But he didn't confirm with me, but since it wasn't too late, I would swing by and pick him up.
He seemed in better spirits today. Maybe he had more of a sense of humor about it. Maybe he was drunk. But either way, I was happy that I wasn't dealing with someone who was freaking the fuck out. I didn't need to manage his feelings, Keith's feelings and my own. Actually, I shouldn't have been managing anyone else's feelings.
We get to the Gay and Lesbian Center and we both check in. Tyler goes through the questions on the forms and constantly asks for my advice on how he should answer. I know it makes him nervous because he's not out to a lot of people.
I'm thinking the same thing anyone in their right mind would think: How can you be 25, in LA and cute and not out of the closet? In 2013? WTF?
So I go in to get my shot and while I'm waiting, I get a phone call from Victor. We follow the following points:
- How are you feeling?
- Did you make Keith feel guilty because you shouldn't shoulder the entirely of the blame on yourself?
- Anyone cute there?
The nurse comes in and starts explaining what I should know. The nurse is burly with piercing blue eyes and if I wasn't so distracted by my syphilis, I'd have a boner right now. I immediately concoct a "College Boy Physicals" scenario in my head. I'm not going to post a link, you'll just have to Google it yourselves if you're curious.
He's smiling a lot to put me at ease. Of course, since my boyfriend won't touch me really, I start to flirt. I don't know his name, so let's just call him Hercules. Hercules explains that since we don't know when I was infected and it has been over a year since my last STD testing, I need to have three shots that are administered once a week for the next three weeks. He double checks that I've told my sexual partners. I assured him that I had. We schedule my next two appointments. He asks if I've seen any symptoms. I tell him that I haven't noticed any sores, but I haven't really inspected my anus lately. I want to get a laugh or an inappropriate advance out of him. Nothing. Hercules is all business.
He tells me that I can't drink or have sex for three weeks. The sex part I'm down with, I assure him. I just double check on the drinking because another guy who checked me in had told me I just had to wait through the first treatment. Hercules assured me that the other guy was wrong. And he's so buff that I believe him. He also tells me that I will be retested in six weeks after my last treatment to make sure that my numbers go down. He mentions that he's going to put a shot in my ass, and that he will alternate cheeks, so that we'll start and end with the left cheek over the course of three treatments.
I nod. He looks at me. I look at him. He smiles. I smile back. I take a deep breath. He leans in.
Oh, Jesus...oh, Jesus...it's happening...
"Do you have any other questions?" He looks at me square in the face.
"Is it time to pull my pants down now?" Hercules nods. I turn around and drop trou. What I thought was flirting was really his reaction to my stalling.
"It may hurt a bit, but just relax." I put all of my weight on my right leg so that my left leg and butt cheek are relaxed and not tense. I don't know what made me think to do that, but I might have read that somewhere. I wanted Hercules to know that I knew what I was doing.
"Ready?" I nod, but all he sees is the back of my head. This scenario would have been so sexy and gotten me off if this was "College Boy Physicals." SIDE NOTE: When Hercules told me to pull my pants down, I refrained from having my pants around my ankles. I at least have some dignity left.
"Take a deep breath, you'll feel a little poke." I took a deep breath..."And let it out slowly. As I let it out, I felt it. It was like a big pinch or a knotted up muscle in my ass cheek. "Take another one and let that out slowly." The pain was full on for real. OUCH! FUCK! "Does it hurt?" I nod. "All done." I pull my pants up and turn around.
Hercules' advice to me was to do legs if I was going to the gym later or to run. It helps the muscles, apparently. Disappointed that I didn't get any action, I limped out of the exam room. I walked back into the waiting area where Tyler was still waiting and I was limping. I sat down. I don't remember a thing Tyler said before he was called out himself for his exam and tests because I kept shifting around trying to get comfortable.
I finally had to stand up and shift the weight on my leg. Tyler had had enough when I literally bent over. He was in fits of laughter. It looked like I was ready to take it from behind. But that's the only position that seemed comfortable. When Tyler went in for his exam, I had to walk it out a bit. Then I looked around. There were actually some cute guys in the waiting room. When Tyler returned, I pointed them out.
I figured that these guys were being responsible and getting tested. They would know what they have, if anything. And they were cute. We went around trying to figure out what they had. I turned on my Grindr (at Tyler's insistence) to see who was on. And there was a guy who was on Grindr who Grindr said was 53 feet away. He was more like 10 feet away. I quickly clicked off so he wouldn't think we were compadres. It was bad enough there was one slutty guy on Grindr in the waiting room at the Gay and Lesbian Center.
Sorry if that was judgey. Who am I to talk?
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