No Vacation Sex

I'm catching up on posting because I was out of town for five days, then I had a work project that came up.  So I'm going to try and catch up in "real time."

October 10, 2013

I'm out of town, visiting friends in Northern California.  Usually, the rule in our relationship is that if we're out of town, we can hook up with other people.  We have what you could call an open relationship.  Here are the rules:

• Oral and hand jobs only (this has included eating out - I like it, but the boyfriend doesn't).
• No anal.
• Gym hook ups are allowed.
• We talk about it.

Part of me was a little worried about how I would handle not being able to hook up.  I'm sure the boyfriend was wondering the same thing.  But here's the thing I didn't really know at the time: I'm not a sex addict.

I think it's a term that's thrown around a lot.  I do believe that some people are compulsive about having sex.  And I certainly have spent more time that I needed to looking for it.  But I'm not jonesing for cock.  Some guys get labeled a sex addict because they fuck around.  Hell, I think most guys do or want to.  I think it's a rare male bird that wouldn't fuck around on his wife or girlfriend if he had permission.  Breaking a marriage vow and being a sex addict are two separate things.  And in the gay community, that word is even taking on a certain connotation.  But since that term's in the zeitgeist, there have been times that I've wondered if that was what was going on for me.  Because I do have a big sexual appetite.  

But I have been abstaining and not having a huge problem with it.  I masturbate.  In the first three or four days of abstinence, I jacked off probably three times a day.  And it has evened off since then.  I've even had a few instances where I didn't jack off for several days.  

Since I have been near a college campus, I have definitely looked at hot guys.  But I haven't been tempted to visit a bathhouse or anything like that.  I did go to the gym, but not at a time when anything was going on.  It would have been fun to watch, but not necessary.  

I thought I would be missing out on something, but it turns out that I wasn't.  Maybe this is supposed to be a turning point for me.  My relationship to my libido is changing.  Who knew?